does not apply to my shoes. apparently. i didn't read the contract before... maybe i should be better about that. like reading on boxes. i just usually assume that i can't read things here without spending 20 minutes figuring out that "whole wheat" actually says "whole wheat" with thai letters. anyway. about the shoes. we were at dinner at a members house (that really ONLY happens in the international branches by the way) maybe once or twice with other members. and the husband walks in and says that someone's shoe just got eaten by the neighbors dog. they were the grey ones. oh wait. that's mine. oops. well.... i guess i'm riding home barefoot??? turns out, the dog just ate the criss-cross shoelace-type part. so with the members shoelace wrapped around my shoe... we made it home just fine. (it's not like mourning for the loss of a cat... but i did feel a little tinge of remorse.) i'm going to see if i can fix them, or if i'll be using the shoelace from now on...
i've found out that my comp loves hallmark christmas videos. sound familiar? not that we can really DO anything about that. just a fun fact that reminded me of you all. and i find it funny... a lot of the things that i thought i would miss... just don't matter. at least not in the way that i am not able to wait until february of 2015 to make it happen. but if i do pull out the christmas movies in february... don't judge.
i feel a little like the little kid that is learning how to talk. "what's this?" and "this?"
lots of pointing. and giggling. and i'm sure the members think that i'm so silly for not knowing how to say "pants". but i mean really? i haven't worn pants here yet and i don't think i ever will. i sweat enough as it is. there is no way i'm going to add jeans to that problem. i actually am coming to like wearing skirts. it is an interesting talent. wearing skirts and riding bikes. not something that i thought would ever be necessary. but you make it happen!
my companion and i were asked to speak in church. again. in the english branch. it was... wait for it... on missionary work! we were just told to come up and share a little 2 minute shpeel on 1) how missionaries can help the members and 2) how members can help the missionaries. feeding us was not on the list. ;) i really don't want to come home weighing more than when i left... that would be sad. just kidding.
so. on the spiritual bizness. cuz there's a lot. i was having a kinda hard week. trying to overcome the feelings of inadequacy and stupidity and awkwardness that were not letting me speak up. it was rough. and i was constantly feeling like i was a burden to my companion. (i'm not saying it all changed at once.) but it was a hard day. we had gone to rangsit in order to help our fellow missionaries find "daters". basically... going out and asking everyone we saw if they wanted to be baptized. i kinda went into it expecting that i would just be able to walk up to people and tell them about baptism and i would be able to speak thai and they would just want to run to the church and be baptized on the spot. nope. but i learned a lot. and i left the day feeling like i never wanted to feel like that again. SO. the next day. i made it a goal just to TALK to people and stop being scared. it's a weird concept for me to realize that i really won't ever see these people again. EVER. but i tried to only think about it. and wouldn't let myself think about the future. just loving them enough to believe that this message was something that could change their life. anyway. that's what i've been working on. the language is hard. but it is coming. and i left that next day feeling sooooo much better. i just know that i feel better when i bear my testimony and tell people what i believe. it works. i know that most of them probably won't accept the gospel right away, but there ARE people that are waiting for it. there are people that want to change. and we go out and talk to everyone so that we can find that ONE.
that was not the point of that story... that's the background info. anyway, a tender mercy of the lord came into my life. in the form of a letter from my dear mtc comp sister barber. she had been at the church the day before we went to rangsit... and left me a note. i didn't get it until 2 days later (the day after we had gone/bad day for sister ellis). it was amazing to read - she said she had wanted it to be all hugs and smiles... but instead felt impressed to tell me how much confidence she had in me and my ability to overcome the difficulties of this language and in being a missionary. i'm so glad someone was listening to the spirit and wrote me such a spirit-prompted answer to all of my prayers.
another crazy story.
we met an investigator at church. she learned with the missionaries over a year ago, but they left and she went somewhere... and just didn't get baptized. she had a date and everything. so. are you still interested? yes. ok! we can make that work.
so we met with her yesterday at church. she said that she hadn't met with the missionaries for a year. but had stopped reading the book of mormon about six months ago. "is it normal to cry when you read this book?" was her question to us. and then she said "i've finished it twice... i probably should start it again." and the whole time, i'm just sitting there thinking that heavenly father just plopped this amazing investigator right on my doorstep. thank you? that just seems SO inadequate! anyway. she is getting baptized in december.
she was asking us all of these great questions - like why we say "i know the church is true" in our fast and testimony meetings, and why we don't have any pictures of heavenly father... things that i had never thought about. but she is so eager to learn and ready to accept all of the things that we have to teach her.
i wrote this scripture down to share. Alma 17:3.
our mission president encouraged us all to finish the book of mormon by christmas. this is one time that i really am not stressed about being able to finish.... it was really funny. the other day during study i was wishing i had more time. and then i found myself really shocked by the fact that there were times that i "only had time" to read a verse. it's crazy the things that being a missionary will make you think. ;) i'm weird.
the one thing that i think has made me appreciate missionary work more than anything else is seeing the members of our ward work together with us to make missionary work happen. i don't know if it was just me... or if it is new, but i love this kind of missionary work! it isn't up to the missionaries alone. it isn't supposed to be done that way. the best way is for people to have someone that they trust and respect show them how the gospel can bless their lives. to give them someone they can turn to when they have questions. the missionaries... are 18, 19, and 20 year olds (and some 23 year olds) that really have not had a whole lot of life experience. why listen to them? because you know them. you've seen your friends live the same things that they are teaching. and you believe that they can help you, because you've seen it in someone that you admire.
that's the kind of missionary work that works. that's the kind of missionary work that will keep converts active and engaged.
i love this work so much!
i'm so excited for this next week!!!!
i love you all soooo much!
thank you for your examples and your love... i know that our heavenly father loves you too and blesses you for your own sacrifices and missionary work!
love love love love love
sister jess ellis
ka kret! (gah gret)
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