Siam I Am: Pakkret baby.

October 27, 2013

alrightee. down to business.

your letters really make my whole week. well... it just happens to be a very big highlight in an already very blessed life. i feel too blessed for my own good some days.

it has definitely been an interesting experience adjusting to missionary life. i don't have a problem waking up in the morning or going to bed at night... i think the bakery prepped me well for physical exhaustion. maybe i'll get to go to sleep when i get home. but i have learned a lot about exhaustion in every other sense of the word this week. emotional, mental, and sometimes even spiritual exhaustion.

i hate to admit this to anyone. but i cried. it was one of those really hard days. and then - for the miracle. (because right after we feel totally lousy... God always blesses us with a miracle) i turned to philippians. of course. it's my favorite for a reason. chapter 4. verses (i think) 9 through the end. i know how to be abased and i know how to abound. for whatever reason i feel like that is especially the case as a missionary. and it all happens at exactly the same time. i feel such love from god and for my investigators... and for people in general. and yet... i feel so lacking. i feel so inadequate for the call that i have been given. and then comes verse 13. i can do all things through christ. and i can. even learn thai.
well. enough about me being a cry baby.

on to awesome missionary stuffs.

we were supposed to have 2 baptisms this week... but due to certain circumstances.... it was put off. mainly the fact that he hurt his hand and it couldn't get wet. which.... is a big part of getting baptized. so. baptism is still on. the church is still true. eternal salvation just has to wait a few weeks. ;) i'll stop blaspheming now.

oh. and church. i love church. it is a little different as a missionary. for one: i don't understand most of what's going on. i understand words... but my comprehension of sentences is fairly limited. i did get asked to speak in my first sacrament... in the english branch. he he he. the topic was.... wait for it..... MISSIONARY WORK! big surprise. i know. but i have been really working on NOT scripting my talks. i am really trying to let the spirit speak through me by coming up with an outline and a lot of ideas for a talk... and then speaking with the spirit. so far... i like it. either people lied to me, or it was a pretty good talk. but can you lie to the missionaries???

i knew that missionaries were supposed to serve. but what happens when their service is sub-par? like me being asked to play the hymns in sacrament???? i mean... that's almost mean to the congregation. the branch president asked me if i could play... and i couldn't say no. i mean... it was that or accapella. but i tried to tell him i didn't know any of them and that i'd only be playing with the top hand. well. he said ok. and that's what happened. me, plunking through all of the hymns... one handed. it works i guess.

what else? we teach a LOT. you would naturally think i would teach thai people. but we have taught a man from india, a family from sri lanka, a man from ghana, a sister from the phillipines... and i can't even think of how many others in the last week! serving in an international branch is definitely fun. and always interesting.

i was riding my bike down the road the other day and was thinking that it reminded me of premium rush. (the bike movie) nooooo... i don't do crazy stunts like that. but in a city where they have "some" speed limits... but relatively no enforcement... it is always an experience riding anywhere. driving on the left hand side of the road was weird to get used to as well. no four-way stops.... but they have occasional u-turns that you can take to flip around. there is just never a u-turn when you need it.

so we just end up crossing 6 lanes of traffic.

the nice man at the hotel right next to us comes and saves us with his light wand though. i feel so special making traffic stop and wait for us. kinda like you feel in 3rd grade crossing the street and holding hands.

it has been an interesting week. the first real week as a missionary. we went contacting... and i'm not an outgoing person normally. ever. i usually don't talk to people i don't know. and now i have to do it in thai. funny.

but then sister tilley leans over and says "be a missionary!"

i've come to realize that they don't teach you the whole language in the mtc for a reason. you get here... and the rest of the language will come. but what is the most important thing that you have to do? you have to testify of jesus christ. they do teach you how to do that. the rest of the language will take care of itself... right now i am learning to put a lot of faith in god and believing that he will fill in the gaps where my language comes up short. because it does a LOT.

they usually end up smiling at me (probably thinking... she's so cute for trying. but what in the world did she just say? she is a nice person. i feel good........ my bus is here.)

i've been told this gets better. by pretty much everyone.

maybe it's time i should start believing them...

it's just really hard when i can't understand people and i just REALLY want to talk to them!

frustrating.

but then there are moments that you don't need words to talk. like the cutest old man on the planet (remember him?) brings me some strange dessert with bananas... in purple juice... and gives me the cutest smile... and i don't even know what he's saying. but there is no way that i'm not going to eat this strange concoction with him smiling at me like that!

i love thailand.

i love this gospel!

i love everything about this experience. even the crying. the tears. the smiles. the laughter. it is all part of it. and i wouldn't trade a single second!

i love you all! :)

keep up the good work wherever the lord calls you to serve!

sister ellis