Siam I Am: life has its ups and downs. even on a mission.

January 12, 2014

i was definitely on a high last week... but that just means that a little downslide is inevitable right? but it's ok.
so. we started last week with 3 people with baptismal dates. and with 3 more that we wanted to give dates to. it was so great! at the end of the week... (yesterday) we had one. why? i will tell you.
we found out that 3 of them did not live in our area. so we had to give them away. i mean... these people were ready to walk into the water right then and there. one of them finished 1 nephi while he was waiting for us to get to the church! i've never seen a golden person until this week. i was amazed. not only that these people were SO ready... but that it just reaffirmed to me the lord's ability to make miracles happen.
well. it was a little rough. we gave them all away within 24 hours. and then dropped 2 more because we haven't gotten in contact with them for weeks... so, our one SOLID investigator... is near the border of malaysia... a little stressed about getting our 3 baptisms this month? a little probably doesn't begin to describe these emotions... and yet, i know the lord is able to work miracles. we got home the first night after finding out we'd need to give investigators away... a little grumpy. i admit i was thinking a lot more about myself. i was happy he was still getting baptized. that is my purpose here. but i probably wanted the picture with him a little more than i should have. it taught me a lot when we had to call the other missionaries. but then... turns out they had someone to give us that was in OUR area. and i couldn't help but think that God is SOOO GOOD. he blesses us, even when our hearts aren't exactly where they need to be. it was a humbling experience. then we gave away two more investigators the next day. by that point... we were just shocked. for a minute i wondered if we were doing something wrong. or that we needed to do something more. then sister phelps got sick. it was such a rough week. but, God really does have a plan. we felt like we should be able to get double balanced key indicators last week while planning... so we had all of our lessons taught by thursday... right when sister phelps started getting sick. we already had new investigators. we... were really blessed. and even though we didn't get double balanced... do you think that we were guided by that decision? because he KNEW what was going to happen? i think so. i KNOW so.
i had a lot of time to think this week. cooped up in the apartment... all 5 square feet of it... with a sleeping companion.... lends a lot of time to thinking. it is hard not to over-think. but i realized that Heavenly Father is so aware of me. that he knows our plans. he knows our goals. he knows what we need to hear. so while i was reading in romans (i know... i know... who actually reads those books except for in sunday school???) i found some gold. in romans 8. i think i've reread it about 20 times. it just fed my soul. like the time you are craving something special... and you come home and find out that mom made just that.
i am a child of god.
i have hope in things that i have not yet seen (like 3 baptisms this month)
all things work together for our good
if god is with us... who can be against us?
"for I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

who knows how the rest of this week is going to go?

Heavenly Father does. :)

and that's all i need.

in other news... witnessed an accident. walked through the mob... watched a parade (or the mob walking down the street outside of our internet cafe...) another day in the life of sister ellis!